What Were You Wearing?

Rape culture.

The phrase was eloquently coined by the Second wave feminists, which stresses societies normalisation of Victim blaming and male sexual violence.

Along with it being in physical form, it is seen in micro-aggressions too, such as; Cat calling, persuasive speak, and the omega of them all- the romanticisation of sexual violence, because she was ‘easy’ and he’s ‘the man’. Right? Wrong.

This catalog of words and actions inflicted on women every single day, should ring some pretty loud alarm bells for us all. Rape culture is not okay.

I’m sure you’ve read this far down, racking your brain on what the Style Editor of Unfold must say about Rape culture.

So, here it is: What we wear does not give a man or woman permission to violate you. You did not deserve it.

The banal argument of enquiring on the state of dress the victim was in; how short their skirt was or how low their top was, has never been a plausible excuse, because there is none.

We’re no longer in the 18th century where women’s legs and ankles were abominable and their wombs were floating around their bodies. It’s 2018 - get with the program.

My choice of clothing should not equal years of pain and self-hatred because it’s my body and frankly my choice.

A museum called “What were you wearing?” is in Brussels, and displays the clothing which women and men wore when they were raped.

The exhibit showcases gym wear, party dresses, sleeping gowns, traditional clothing such as Saris and even army wear. These pieces aren’t necessarily branded as ‘come hither’, so why exactly is the loaded question so frequently asked?

Does fashion put women in danger?

Short shorts and crop tops are propositioned by the media, as “less is more” outfits: suited for going out, but blaming the media for what we were isn’t the way to go, and blaming someone for what they wear isn’t it either.

A wondering hand must take responsibility for their ‘curiosity’, because the cat so famously gets killed.

Fashion doesn’t put people in danger. People put people In danger.

Fashion allows you to be eccentric and feel liberated: you shouldn’t have to be tamed because of the fear mostly women have of whether what they’re wearing is appropriated.

Walking down a street on the way to a friend’s house at 8 in evening, I was verbally harassed and extensively stalked by a man who wanted to “ask me a question”. Flight or fight mode was almost instantly switched on, and one of the only things running through my mind was whether my dress was too short and if I could flee from the scene in one piece. Luckily, I did, and when I could catch a second to breathe I was abhorred by the fact that I had to think of what I was doing wrong rather than the overly persistent schmuck.

This only emphasises the problem in society, where the victim is asked about what they were wearing, when there is zero correlation to the unfortunate outcome.

Reducing or eliminating the use of this unduly social pariah of a question, could never happen overnight but with time comes change.

Hopefully the unaware will see that too.

Temilola A

Everything is Love <3

Temilola Akinrele